I have a new blog that is going to be funner (yes) to follow instead of this TaDa one. I've decided to just make my "Laws of Life" into its own blog. Every now and then I will be posting a new 'law' and the story that it originated from in my past 21 (almost 22) years of living.
http://my-laws-of-life.blogspot.com
:)
Listen to Blog
Sunday, October 23, 2011
Tuesday, September 27, 2011
Is it possible to die from a broken heart?
Is it?
I'm sincerely curious.
Is there some mad chemical reaction that happens inside you?
You feel your chest about explode from the pressure.
You can't see clearly anymore; everything is changing colors.
I'm sincerely curious.
Is there some mad chemical reaction that happens inside you?
You feel your chest about explode from the pressure.
You can't see clearly anymore; everything is changing colors.
Monday, March 21, 2011
Law #3
Roll up your windows before you leave your car over night.
Because spiders WILL slip through the little crack you made to circulate air through your car at night, and they WILL decide to slowly drop down three inches from your face whilst the car is in motion.
(Not too big a story, I know, but it's still true)
(I'm not a good blogger)
Because spiders WILL slip through the little crack you made to circulate air through your car at night, and they WILL decide to slowly drop down three inches from your face whilst the car is in motion.
(Not too big a story, I know, but it's still true)
(I'm not a good blogger)
Monday, March 14, 2011
Law #2
Never ever never ever EVER never wear spaghetti strap shirts in public
So I'm going with my love Eden to Wal Mart. I was wearing this long shrug thing over a spaghetti strap shirt, but before we got out of the car I wanted to sport just the strappy shirt. This is the first time I ever sported this kind of shirt in public so I was a little nervous. Well I had good reason to be on edge about this ensemble choice, because ten minutes into our adventure, we are approached by a fast talker. Not only was he flirting up a katrina-like storm, he was trying to sell us magazines. This was no short conversation mind you (not that we were doing much of the talking). So at the end of his conversation, the creeper gave me his number (no thanks), and we proceeded on our journey. I guess the dude was making his rounds through that whole super store, because we kept running into each other and I wanted nothing more than to just get out.
So I'm going with my love Eden to Wal Mart. I was wearing this long shrug thing over a spaghetti strap shirt, but before we got out of the car I wanted to sport just the strappy shirt. This is the first time I ever sported this kind of shirt in public so I was a little nervous. Well I had good reason to be on edge about this ensemble choice, because ten minutes into our adventure, we are approached by a fast talker. Not only was he flirting up a katrina-like storm, he was trying to sell us magazines. This was no short conversation mind you (not that we were doing much of the talking). So at the end of his conversation, the creeper gave me his number (no thanks), and we proceeded on our journey. I guess the dude was making his rounds through that whole super store, because we kept running into each other and I wanted nothing more than to just get out.
Wednesday, February 16, 2011
Law #1
Do not eat red Jelly Belly jellybeans
Origin: First semester of college up in Idaho. I had a real hankering for Jelly Belly jellybeans. Praise jesus for Florence's Candy shop. It seemed to be the only place that sold those chewy delicious beans. I walked back to my dorm room to feast upon my prize. I stumbled upon a bright red Jelly Belly jellybean. It was a solid red. Like a fool, I expected it to be a cherry, or apple at least. The second I bit down on that sucker, without warning, my mouth was shot with the spicey disappointing sting of cinnamon! CINNAMON! The picture indicating which flavor the Jelly Belly jellybeans belonged to each bean clearly states that the cinnamon Jelly Belly jellybeans have yellow speckles on them! Did this Jelly Belly jellybean have any yellow speckles? I think not! My tongue is on fire because of this stupid speckless red Jelly Belly jellybean!
Thus: I've decided it's best to just steer clear of red Jelly Belly jellybeans all together.
Origin: First semester of college up in Idaho. I had a real hankering for Jelly Belly jellybeans. Praise jesus for Florence's Candy shop. It seemed to be the only place that sold those chewy delicious beans. I walked back to my dorm room to feast upon my prize. I stumbled upon a bright red Jelly Belly jellybean. It was a solid red. Like a fool, I expected it to be a cherry, or apple at least. The second I bit down on that sucker, without warning, my mouth was shot with the spicey disappointing sting of cinnamon! CINNAMON! The picture indicating which flavor the Jelly Belly jellybeans belonged to each bean clearly states that the cinnamon Jelly Belly jellybeans have yellow speckles on them! Did this Jelly Belly jellybean have any yellow speckles? I think not! My tongue is on fire because of this stupid speckless red Jelly Belly jellybean!
Thus: I've decided it's best to just steer clear of red Jelly Belly jellybeans all together.
Tuesday, February 8, 2011
The Many Adventures of Me and My "Daughter"
Quotes of the evening:
"What would Meryl Streep do?"
"She made explosive lasagna!"
We're baking cookies and are thinking about splurging by having more than one cookie="breaking the law":
Daughter: "Meryl Streep wouldn't break the law.."
Me: "Nahh, it's okay to break the law--"
[while setting the last cookie on the tray, it crashes]
Daughter: "--I don't want to break the law!"
"Pshh my car never runs out of gas while it's running--"
Red light. It rumbles. It stopped running.
"Time flies when you're learning how to speak in a french accent"
Large amounts of fun choreographing a snippet of a Mama Mia song for my daughter...1&2&3&4&5&6&7&8!.....I'm really good at counting to eight.
"fELlow,
felloW,
fELlow,
felLOw,
fELlow
felLOW,
fELlow!"
"I hate this word!!"
Good times.
"What would Meryl Streep do?"
"She made explosive lasagna!"
We're baking cookies and are thinking about splurging by having more than one cookie="breaking the law":
Daughter: "Meryl Streep wouldn't break the law.."
Me: "Nahh, it's okay to break the law--"
[while setting the last cookie on the tray, it crashes]
Daughter: "--I don't want to break the law!"
"Pshh my car never runs out of gas while it's running--"
Red light. It rumbles. It stopped running.
"Time flies when you're learning how to speak in a french accent"
Large amounts of fun choreographing a snippet of a Mama Mia song for my daughter...1&2&3&4&5&6&7&8!.....I'm really good at counting to eight.
"fELlow,
felloW,
fELlow,
felLOw,
fELlow
felLOW,
fELlow!"
"I hate this word!!"
Good times.
Friday, February 4, 2011
In the Meantime...
FACEBOOK 101
This journey will be indeed a treacherous one. I am going to be assisting my mom in her education of facebook. Others have helped her through most of it, but I feel I might become the main source of help soon. What kind of a daughter would I be if I refused the responsibility of helping my mother journey through the facebooking world?
In accordance with accepting this task, it is true I have given serious thought to what this will entail of me to do, and I have chosen to move forward. It will indeed be challenging and no, I haven't gone mad. I will now be documenting the progress.
Lessons that I walked the subject through were the following:
How to find your notifications of tagged pictures of you, who "liked" your photos/wall posts/comments, who posted something on your wall, etc...
---> subject grasped this one without difficulty
How to comment on a commented picture.
---> subject was hesitant at first before clicking "comment" after her final remarks, but I'm sure after she posts a few more comments, the submitting of a comment will come with more surety.
This journey will be indeed a treacherous one. I am going to be assisting my mom in her education of facebook. Others have helped her through most of it, but I feel I might become the main source of help soon. What kind of a daughter would I be if I refused the responsibility of helping my mother journey through the facebooking world?
In accordance with accepting this task, it is true I have given serious thought to what this will entail of me to do, and I have chosen to move forward. It will indeed be challenging and no, I haven't gone mad. I will now be documenting the progress.
Lessons that I walked the subject through were the following:
How to find your notifications of tagged pictures of you, who "liked" your photos/wall posts/comments, who posted something on your wall, etc...
---> subject grasped this one without difficulty
How to comment on a commented picture.
---> subject was hesitant at first before clicking "comment" after her final remarks, but I'm sure after she posts a few more comments, the submitting of a comment will come with more surety.
Thursday, February 3, 2011
The Time Has Come!
It's time to expand on my laws of life! My goal has been reached! Woo!
To who ever is reading this, I posted a "Laws of Life" blog on February 15th 2010. I did not want to explain how I came to the conclusion of each law until I reached twenty or so (ten didn't seem like enough, and thirty feels like too much). If I sprout a wild hair I might expand to twenty-five, because I think it's a nice number.
BUT I think to make this blog ish thing seem more "complete," Imma wait until the fifteenth this month! Why not? It'll feel so beautiful.
Until then!
To who ever is reading this, I posted a "Laws of Life" blog on February 15th 2010. I did not want to explain how I came to the conclusion of each law until I reached twenty or so (ten didn't seem like enough, and thirty feels like too much). If I sprout a wild hair I might expand to twenty-five, because I think it's a nice number.
BUT I think to make this blog ish thing seem more "complete," Imma wait until the fifteenth this month! Why not? It'll feel so beautiful.
Until then!
Friday, January 21, 2011
Relationships.
They turn you into a monster. Before you jump to all sorts of reasons as to how this could never happen (whether to you or anyone), hear me out. This information is based on observation and experience. I have lost some good friends due to relationships.
This is how it will go down:
1. You become addicted. You may think, "Oh, I would never let this happen," but the truth is, it does. Well why not? You're with the one person that gives you the crazy rush of butterflies in the pit of your stomach every time they look at you. So now you're an addict. Great job Spartacus! Before you know it, you addict, you're willing to sacrifice anything to get your fix.
2. You alienate yourself. You may think, "That's ridiculous, I'm great at balancing friends, family, and significant others," but the truth is, no you aren't anymore. Just give it a couple weeks and the only person you're talking to is your significant other. Whilst in those couple of weeks, your friends are slowly giving up on you. You will receive fewer invites out with your pals. Your closest friend is the last to try to get a hold of you on Week 4 of this relationship. At the start of week five, you will have no friends outside of your relationship.
3. You become possessive. Again? You're going to complain again? Suck it up, of course you're the last person you'd ever think to grow a possessive personality trait. The truth is, now that you're friendless addict, you now become possessive and start to get pissed any time your significant other decides to make plans that don't involve you sometimes.
3a. Now that you're possessive, what comes next? CONTROLLING. These almost go hand in hand because a few days after the possessiveness starts, depending on how desperate you are because there is no one else in your life, you have now upgraded yourself to be a controlling friendless possessive addict. You now try to control where they go, who they're with, and what they do.
4. This isn't worth staying in a relationship anymore, so now your significant other is going to break up with you because you can't stop fighting with each other. It's going to happen, so don't go on to thinking "Oh but we fight all the time, it's what we do." Think about it. Ask yourself, how much are you fighting compared to how many light-hearted conversations you two are having?
5. Of course you're not going to let him/her go, obviously because of what you've become, so you have now reached a point of desperation... "Honey, I can change! I can do better! What can I do to fix this?!" It's too late, stupid! Stop pouring salt into your self inflicted wound and let them go. All this begging makes you look pathetic and more unattractive than you've already become.
You see? In these few easy steps, you have ruined yourself because you decided to be in a relationship. When you look at your--now single--self in the mirror the next day, you can't recognize yourself. You've turned into a monster. Good job.
Cure: Give yourself 8-12 months of Nothing (open to many interpretations) and you'll be back on your feet, ready to conquer the world, and restart this vicious cycle, in no time.
Recommendation: You've got about a 50-50 chance of getting divorced (if you decide to reach the point of marriage, seeing as you only have each other now) anyways. You might as well stay single. It's what's best for you and the people around you. It'll shorten the body count.
This is how it will go down:
1. You become addicted. You may think, "Oh, I would never let this happen," but the truth is, it does. Well why not? You're with the one person that gives you the crazy rush of butterflies in the pit of your stomach every time they look at you. So now you're an addict. Great job Spartacus! Before you know it, you addict, you're willing to sacrifice anything to get your fix.
2. You alienate yourself. You may think, "That's ridiculous, I'm great at balancing friends, family, and significant others," but the truth is, no you aren't anymore. Just give it a couple weeks and the only person you're talking to is your significant other. Whilst in those couple of weeks, your friends are slowly giving up on you. You will receive fewer invites out with your pals. Your closest friend is the last to try to get a hold of you on Week 4 of this relationship. At the start of week five, you will have no friends outside of your relationship.
3. You become possessive. Again? You're going to complain again? Suck it up, of course you're the last person you'd ever think to grow a possessive personality trait. The truth is, now that you're friendless addict, you now become possessive and start to get pissed any time your significant other decides to make plans that don't involve you sometimes.
3a. Now that you're possessive, what comes next? CONTROLLING. These almost go hand in hand because a few days after the possessiveness starts, depending on how desperate you are because there is no one else in your life, you have now upgraded yourself to be a controlling friendless possessive addict. You now try to control where they go, who they're with, and what they do.
4. This isn't worth staying in a relationship anymore, so now your significant other is going to break up with you because you can't stop fighting with each other. It's going to happen, so don't go on to thinking "Oh but we fight all the time, it's what we do." Think about it. Ask yourself, how much are you fighting compared to how many light-hearted conversations you two are having?
5. Of course you're not going to let him/her go, obviously because of what you've become, so you have now reached a point of desperation... "Honey, I can change! I can do better! What can I do to fix this?!" It's too late, stupid! Stop pouring salt into your self inflicted wound and let them go. All this begging makes you look pathetic and more unattractive than you've already become.
You see? In these few easy steps, you have ruined yourself because you decided to be in a relationship. When you look at your--now single--self in the mirror the next day, you can't recognize yourself. You've turned into a monster. Good job.
Cure: Give yourself 8-12 months of Nothing (open to many interpretations) and you'll be back on your feet, ready to conquer the world, and restart this vicious cycle, in no time.
Recommendation: You've got about a 50-50 chance of getting divorced (if you decide to reach the point of marriage, seeing as you only have each other now) anyways. You might as well stay single. It's what's best for you and the people around you. It'll shorten the body count.
Sunday, January 16, 2011
Wednesday, January 12, 2011
How rude of me!
I forgot to write about my latest incident/event/mishap!! I've decided to write a book. It'll be called, "Courtney's Chronicles," or, "The Chronicles of Courtney." I think enough things have happened to me to fill the shoes of a good amusing book. I can't help that these things happen to me!
So.....
It's News Years Eve. I'm with my pal Tim and we're driving to the store to pick up a tub of chocolate chip cookie dough, and juice, for a small social gathering. It is precisely 10:06 p.m. We roll up to an Albertsons to find that it is in fact closed already! The nerve. We call up our friend at her house to inform her of this tragedy. It's now 10:15 p.m. and she calls us back to tell us that, "Food 4 Less is open til 10:30, go go go!!"
"Ah! We're on it!"
Even though Food 4 Less is right down the street, I still needed to drive a little faster than normal. What if they decided to close the store even earlier because all the other customers are too busy to go to the store at this hour on New Years Eve?!
So I'm in the left turn lane, ready to drive like I own the bat mobile, but I can't exactly yet because there's a car already in front of me. Rude. So my next plan is to get in what ever lane they decide not to take. Pretty simple right?
GREEN! --Could they turn any slower?!
As I'm approaching fifty mph, I forget that I can't speed like that because I'm waiting for my renewed license to come in the mail. Just as I finish telling my pal Tim, the red and blue lights of doom are shining behind my vehicle.... The rest goes like this:
"S***! Oh s***! Tim! This can't happen! This can't happen right now! Oh my gosh. S***!"
"Courtney. Calm down. It's going to be okay! It's going to be alright."
My legs are getting tingly now because I've never been pulled over during the five years I've had my license.
I pull into a parking lot, hands are shaking, Tim is still calming me down. The officer comes over while I'm rolling down my not-so-automatic window...
"Hiii officerrr..."
"Have you had anything to drink tonight?"
"No sir."
"Do you know why I pulled you over?"
"Yes sir, I was speeding."
"You know how fast you were going?"
"Fiftyyy--"
"Fifty-two," as he pointed out on his speed monitor thing.
"Ah, fifty-two. I know I was speeding, I was trying to make it to the store before it closed, and I got a little excited," I'm going to die. I'm going to get a speeding ticket, a ticket for driving with an expired license, I'm going to die, and be poor forever.
"What do you want for dessert?" .......wait what? He was directing this question to Tim?! "What do you want for dessert?" Tim doesn't answer, "C'mon man, it's better than a $400 ticket."
"...uhhhh, I, umm," says Tim. I'm dying. Tim isn't answering the officer and I'm dying!
The officer seemed kind of chill because then he was talking to me all like, "Man, you put a guy on the spot and he can't think of anything."
I'm just just just, "Iiiiiiii know! Come on Tim! We were in theatre together! You were the best at improvs!"
"You guys took theatre?" Mr. Chill Officer asked.
"..yeah," says we.
"Oh, I majored in theatre at SDSU," he said casually.
"NO WAY! Really?!"
"Yeah theatre has been a big part of my family. My mom won best actress in her class along with the guy that plays the original Freddy Krueger," This is unbelieveable.
"Wow, for serious?! That's awesome!" EPIC.
"Alright well you guys take care, have a good night."
"Wait, that's it?! Well alright! Good night!" says I.
THE FIRST TIME I GET PULLED OVER, AND IT WAS BY A FELLOW THESPIAN!!!!
So.....
It's News Years Eve. I'm with my pal Tim and we're driving to the store to pick up a tub of chocolate chip cookie dough, and juice, for a small social gathering. It is precisely 10:06 p.m. We roll up to an Albertsons to find that it is in fact closed already! The nerve. We call up our friend at her house to inform her of this tragedy. It's now 10:15 p.m. and she calls us back to tell us that, "Food 4 Less is open til 10:30, go go go!!"
"Ah! We're on it!"
Even though Food 4 Less is right down the street, I still needed to drive a little faster than normal. What if they decided to close the store even earlier because all the other customers are too busy to go to the store at this hour on New Years Eve?!
So I'm in the left turn lane, ready to drive like I own the bat mobile, but I can't exactly yet because there's a car already in front of me. Rude. So my next plan is to get in what ever lane they decide not to take. Pretty simple right?
GREEN! --Could they turn any slower?!
As I'm approaching fifty mph, I forget that I can't speed like that because I'm waiting for my renewed license to come in the mail. Just as I finish telling my pal Tim, the red and blue lights of doom are shining behind my vehicle.... The rest goes like this:
"S***! Oh s***! Tim! This can't happen! This can't happen right now! Oh my gosh. S***!"
"Courtney. Calm down. It's going to be okay! It's going to be alright."
My legs are getting tingly now because I've never been pulled over during the five years I've had my license.
I pull into a parking lot, hands are shaking, Tim is still calming me down. The officer comes over while I'm rolling down my not-so-automatic window...
"Hiii officerrr..."
"Have you had anything to drink tonight?"
"No sir."
"Do you know why I pulled you over?"
"Yes sir, I was speeding."
"You know how fast you were going?"
"Fiftyyy--"
"Fifty-two," as he pointed out on his speed monitor thing.
"Ah, fifty-two. I know I was speeding, I was trying to make it to the store before it closed, and I got a little excited," I'm going to die. I'm going to get a speeding ticket, a ticket for driving with an expired license, I'm going to die, and be poor forever.
"What do you want for dessert?" .......wait what? He was directing this question to Tim?! "What do you want for dessert?" Tim doesn't answer, "C'mon man, it's better than a $400 ticket."
"...uhhhh, I, umm," says Tim. I'm dying. Tim isn't answering the officer and I'm dying!
The officer seemed kind of chill because then he was talking to me all like, "Man, you put a guy on the spot and he can't think of anything."
I'm just just just, "Iiiiiiii know! Come on Tim! We were in theatre together! You were the best at improvs!"
"You guys took theatre?" Mr. Chill Officer asked.
"..yeah," says we.
"Oh, I majored in theatre at SDSU," he said casually.
"NO WAY! Really?!"
"Yeah theatre has been a big part of my family. My mom won best actress in her class along with the guy that plays the original Freddy Krueger," This is unbelieveable.
"Wow, for serious?! That's awesome!" EPIC.
"Alright well you guys take care, have a good night."
"Wait, that's it?! Well alright! Good night!" says I.
THE FIRST TIME I GET PULLED OVER, AND IT WAS BY A FELLOW THESPIAN!!!!
I drove to the store that was still open, ticketless.
Most epic chronicle so far I believe.
Wednesday, January 5, 2011
School
I'm going back to school this Fall. I just don't know where yet. I'm still in the process of mapping everything out, but I'm feeling really good about it.
I'm going to teach theatre to high school students!
I need to get out of here or I know I'll get stuck in the black hole of not going to school. I want school for me, not for other people.
I'm going to teach theatre to high school students!
I need to get out of here or I know I'll get stuck in the black hole of not going to school. I want school for me, not for other people.
So here's my super basic outline:
1. Generals this fall.
2. Graduate school in a different country, or a different state.
3. Teaching credentials at an undecided location (I've got a few years to decide that)
Subscribe to:
Comments (Atom)