Thanksgiving.

Worst start to the day ever yesterday.

I already hate the holidays enough as it is, and yesterday afternoon's disaster did NOT help at all:

I'm getting ready to go hang out at the Severson's for a few hours before they feast. I did my usual routine--wake up slow, take a fast shower, and listen to toe-tapping tunes while I get presentable for the public eye. It's now noon and I'm walking down the stairs to feed my dog and peace out. Something odd stops me at the base of the stairs. It's a glistening puddle on the wood floor that's lining the stairs.

I immediately assume it's a puddle from my dog, until I noticed that this was no ordinary puddle. The glistening substance had stretched all the way to the bathroom, seeping into the laundry room, and trailing down the hallway. Now, I know that my dog can have a small bladder from time to time, but it's not THAT small...

Evaluating the situation before me, I realize that this substance is in fact coming from the downstairs bathroom. I tiptoed to the scene of the crime and BAM!--I'm hit with a wall of a putrid sick nasty stench that is getting more and more concentrated the closer I inch to the bathroom. By then, I'm using every four letter word known to the Webster Dictionary (not very lady-like, I know, but you would have had the same reaction if you were alone and had a shortage of towels) and slowly gliding into insanity. To make things worse (true story) the glistening substance was not just water. No no. It was DOOKY SEWAGE WATER that overflowed from the toilet while I was using the shower. So the bathroom floor was covered in chunks of Lord knows what, while the rest of the stanky water extended to the hallway and laundry room.

While I'm collecting every towel and rag I can use to soak up the water, I phone up Joann to tell her I'm probably going to be a little late because of this problem-house. I explain the damage to her while opening up every window in the house to rid the stench, starting with the one in the bathroom. It gets worse (true story). The shower curtains are closed over the tub, blocking my way to the high window, but to my I-can't-take-this-anymore-surprise THE TUB IS FILLED WITH FIVE INCHES OF CHUNKY DIRTY DOOKY WATER! I would have had a sailor's reaction if I was not on the phone that moment. Of course I still yelled at the nasty-not-niceness though.

Next, I called up my dad, to inform him of this stupid broken house that I wish was haunted instead, for some help even though he was eight hours away. Since we only had a few towels, he suggested I get a pair of gloves and wring out the excess dooky water in the sink so I could clean up the rest of the water before it seeped into the wood floors. Okay look. I'm a tough girl, but I'm not Butch! No way in the seven layers of Hell and Outer Darkness combind was I going to get anywhere near this schinanigans! I got the dooky water all cleaned up just fine doing the towel shuffle thank you very much. The sewage water also came through the wall connecting the bathroom and the garage, and trailed all the way to the garage doors.

Luckily, he ended up getting in touch with a blessEd son of god who was willing to come over and assess the situation thoroughly. Not to mention this blessEd son of god brought his amazing daughter with him, who brought me a diet coke and delicious cookies!

Conclusion: There's a backup in the main line from the sewar pipes to the downstairs pipes, which is why the dirty liquid attacked the downstairs while I showered upstairs. I now cannot use any bit of water sourse in this house until my dad gets back on monday. Looks like I get to house-hop again just for the weekend, woo!

Good news: I had a blast spending Thanksgiving at my love Katie's place with her fam!

This day started out really sucky, but ended in a way that I wouldn't have changed one bit.